Veterinary dreams to Life Consultant

My first blog on my new website.  It is so exciting!  And I wanted to explain to you why I chose to be a Life Consultant…

I initially went to college to be a veterinarian.  I love animals, to this day animals bring pure joy to my heart with their goofy interactions.  However, I did not love chemistry, organic chemistry, microbiology, and all of the other extremely difficult and in-depth sciences required to become a doctor of veterinary medicine.  So I followed the path of least resistance and got my bachelor’s in psychology.  I LOVED it.  Even more than animals.  People….just made sense to me.  I was fascinated by all of it.  Social psychology, abnormal psychology, child development.  I enjoyed every bit of it.  And when I graduated, I had a degree with which you can do absolutely…….nothing.  Talk about an anti-climax.  So – I had to go to graduate school if I wanted to be employable.  

After some research getting a master’s in social work made the most sense because there were innumerable options for employment.  My fascination with people could continue and I wouldn’t be limited in where or how I wanted to work.  Or so I thought.  After graduation, I found the actual practice to be so much different.  Over the course of the past 16 years, I have worked in many realms: nursing homes, residential group homes for adolescents, community mental health for adults, community mental health for children, addiction treatment, and homeless services.  What I found in all of these arenas is – the system is broken.  Between high caseloads and insurance-induced productivity requirements, the quality of care people get is poor.  Clinicians are stretched to their limits, exhausted, and unable to keep up.  Most mental health providers working in the public realm are close to having a mental health crisis themselves.  Few are able to set boundaries and do adequate self-care enough to be functioning well and effectively in their work.  

Additionally, in my personal life, I had attended therapy for several decades, been on and off of anti-depressants, and chronically struggled with depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation.  No treatment provided to me helped.  Or it helped very minimally until the fall of 2021 when I enrolled in an emotional wellness program called Alive and Free which involved significant teaching and group coaching over Zoom.  I learned more and healed more in the next year and a half than I had in the past 20 years.  I am not sure why, in the clinical realm, clinicians are not taught about polyvagal theory, the nervous system, or inner child work.  The latter has been around for a significant amount of time.  The former are newer modalities but clinicians should be required to keep up with what works rather than being stuck in the past.  

During my experience with Alive and Free, I saw unconditional care (even love) in the eyes of the life consultants working with me.  I was guided through thought processes and visualizations that healed childhood wounds that had been festering for 30ish years.  I grew in knowledge and understanding of myself, in self-care, self-compassion, setting boundaries, and communication.  All of these led me to let go of the societal expectation that I become the all-important Licensed Clinical Social Worker.  I don’t need society’s seal of approval nor do I need to be able to charge insurance.  What matters to me is seeing people heal and grow.  The rest is just weird labels and expectations placed upon us.  I am good at what I do and I love doing it.  So, in summary – here is what you REALLY need to know about me.

I LOVE people.  I think we are amazing, complex, and faceted beings.  I am forever in awe of our beauty and our ability to survive.  I am “trauma-informed” as they say, but more so than that I find trauma to be the largest contributor to people’s struggles.  Even people who say “I don’t have trauma.”  That just tells me it is probably trauma in the form of neglect rather than some large horrible event.  Neglect is a sneaky bastard that most people live unaware of or minimize its impact on their lives.  Neglect, specifically emotional neglect was a huge part of my story.  And anyone, including myself would tell you I had GOOD parents.  But no parent is perfect and all of us have deficits in our childhood development that affect us now.  

So – working with me will look like this:  First and foremost, I will enjoy you.   You are a beautiful human being!  And I feel honored to be included in your process and your growth.  I believe, 100% that your taking the step to book an appointment is just the first of many awesome and life-changing steps you will take in the future.  Which is really exciting to me.  

Secondly, if after the meeting, I don’t think I can help you adequately, I will tell you so you don’t waste time in your journey and can move to a modality or individual that is better suited to your needs.  I want what is best for you and will not practice outside my wheelhouse.  Inside my wheelhouse – we will discuss trauma, nervous system regulation, do inner child work, practice self-compassion, and build up the tools in your toolbelt so you are better equipped for boundary setting, communication, vulnerability, and getting your needs met.  That said, I can’t wait to meet you!  Book your initial session (which is free) and let’s get started!