Theology of life and practice

I have blog posts in mind for the future that require me to speak on my beliefs and thoughts on religion and spirituality now.  I find it difficult to do this because spirituality is such a personal thing.  Religion such a dangerous one.  It divides and has damaged so many.  So how do I share my heart with you on these subjects without triggering you in some way?  I think the truth is – I don’t.  Someone reading will be triggered.  So here is my ask of you before I dive in:  If you become angry or agitated, offended.  Take some time – calm your nervous system.  Check in with past pain.  Where were you hurt before in this conversation?  And know that I am so, so sorry for your pain.  For any damage that was done to you.  It was not fair and it was not okay.  I am sure the emotions you are feeling are valid and they matter to me.  They really do.  Once you are feeling calmer after being triggered – reread whatever it was that upset you.  Did I mean it the way you think?  Or did your brain read into it as a way to protect you because of what you experienced in the past?  That happens sometimes.  Did you make assumptions rather than asking questions and getting to know me better?  We do that too.  We make so many mistakes as humans in our never ending desire to decrease and avoid pain.  It’s okay.  What I want to communicate is – I intend you no harm. I meant it when I said I am a lover of people.  Some of my closest friends are part of the LGBTQIA+ community, others addicts in recovery, others still on a mission to “share the gospel.”  I have clients who are atheist, new age, buddhist, and Christian.  There isn’t a single one of them with which I agree completely, even close friends and loved ones.  None of us have the same thoughts, beliefs, or theology if you will.  Yet, I enjoy all the iterations of humanity and over the course of blogging will explore the damage different beliefs from differing areas have caused.  Which is why you need to know where I fall in all this.   

I used to consider myself a Christian.  In the past few years I have grown and changed so much I find I want to distance myself from all of the baggage that comes with that term.  All the religious rules and expectations.  The guilt, the shame, the judgment.  I am one of the many, the church has harmed.  Religious trauma is a real thing many of us will, or have had, to navigate in our healing process, myself included.  And yet, I still love Jesus.  So perhaps the best description I have for myself is: I am a friend of Jesus’.  His Beloved.  The King and Creator my Papa.  The Spirit my Mama.  They are so, so good.  So, so kind.  Gentle, understanding, forgiving.  Love.  They are also fun, sarcastic, and snarky.  At least with me.  Because that is how I interact with my friends and loved ones.  We joke, poke fun at each other.  Are irreverent – together.  No topic is sacred because assuming positive intent is a given and life is meant to be enjoyed.  When life is painful: I believe They (God, Spirit, Creator, Source, the Universe, whatever you wish to call them) understand suffering, pain, suicidality, addiction, and all of the other things we do to try to survive.  He/she/they are not mad at you.  Are not disappointed in you.  Are not afraid for you.  They know you are doing the best you can with the tools you have.  They are your biggest cheerleader.  

If you do not believe in any sort of deity – that’s okay.  100% okay with me anyway.  Because if they do not exist then you are right!  And I was wrong.  Lol.  Which would be sad for me because I love them but okay.  If they do exist, in the iteration I believe in, then each time you encounter love, kindness, gentleness, hope, joy, they are there.  You get to enjoy them and they get to enjoy you.  Your belief is not necessary for their fulfillment.  They are happy to watch you grow, change, and thrive, helping behind the scenes whenever they can.  I feel no need to convince you otherwise.  It is not my job nor my desire.  Your journey is your journey.

Now: how does all of this translate into my practice?  First and foremost I do not feel pressure within myself to “save” you.  Or even “help” you.  I believe you were created on purpose and that within yourself (your glorious divine being) you hold all the answers and solutions you will need.  I simply walk with you in the journey to uncover them.  I also know the Creator will be present to guide us as we go.  We will follow your intuition and my curiosity as we journey together.  We will find pain points in your past and invite Love to show up.  You will also learn practical tools about your nervous system and how to care for it and yourself well.  Just writing this – I am excited.  It is going to be so, so good.  I can’t wait to meet you.  

With all the love and admiration in the world,

Kimberly